Recently it has come to my attention that a show I watch, Fringe, is going to do a god damned "musical" episode.  All this does is confirm WHY I hate the unwashed masses so god damn much, and YOU, America.  Click below for why. 

Once upon a time there was this thing called "theatre."  You know, people getting up on stage and actually acting.  It took real talent, and lots of practice.  Enter the drooling American public...just like America took the croissant and turned it into "The Croissandwich,"  Americans took legitimate theatre and shat out "musical theatre."

The most popular "story" in Ameriduh is fucking "West Side Story."  This, in a nutshell, says it all about Americans.  You can't just have a story told to you, OH no...it has to be sung in simple terms with lots of dancing, sugar coated and deep fried.  This explains how Disney has single-handedly managed to destroy not only television but also music in only 15 short years (let's call those the "Britney Years.")

There once was a bad movie called "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."  Some egotistical shithead named Joss Whedon turned it into a pathetic TV show, basically about 20-somethings with stupid powers.  At the height of his ego trip, the shithead decided to have the cast do a "musical" episode and the world has never been the same since.

Whedon's slavering followers immediately proclaimed the "musical" Buffy as the best thing EVER DONE ON STAGE OR SCREEN.  And they made a point of trying to beat it into everyone's head just how damn GOOD it was.  Guess what:  it wasn't.  I know, I sat through this shit.  I endured having to hear the god damn sound track for this one episode on a road trip.  I was ready to drive a stake through Shithead Whedon's fucking heart.

Enter "Fringe."  Season 1 of this show was actually really good.  The scripts where tight and well integrated, and it maintained a common theme right to the finale.  Season 2 however has been a mish-mash of badly done "stand alone" episodes with no bearing on the overall story and completely weak writing.  There are only 8 episodes left this season, so we were all hoping we'd get 8 episodes that were actually related to the story arc of the show...well nope, make that 7.  At least one episode has now been announced as a god damned "Musical" episode.  And everywhere, the fucking Whedonites are cheering.

See, ever since Whedon shat out that craptastic Buffy musical, the Whedonites have been on EVERY GOD DAMNED MESSAGE BOARD for EVERY GOD DAMNED TV SHOW whining and begging for a "musical" episode.  I've seen them most recently on Doctor Who fan boards doing the same thing: whining and begging for a Doctor Who "musical" episode.  So, if you're on the fansite for "Bones" and some shithead is opining about how "great" it would be if they did a musical episode, you can GUARANTEE this asshole is a Whedonite.  I would put money down on that.

Can we, for once, just collectively get this "musical" bullshit out of our systems?  If you are incapable of taking in a story without some shithead singing simplistic crap at you, you may as well turn the fucking TV off.  If I WANTED to watch a musical show, I'd fucking turn on Disney.  I'm watching Fringe for a fucking reason, and I really don't want to see if John Noble can fucking sing or not.  This isn't American Idol for fuck's sake.  The writers for Fringe have been avoiding telling a story for most of this entire season, and it looks like they're not done procrastinating yet.

The moral of the story is that Obama should have staged a musical if he wanted to sell Obamacare to the American idiots.  He could have staged the "rumble scene" from West Side Story between the Repubs and Dems on the house floor.  America would have stood up and applauded and the Whedonites would have shit themselves in ecstasy. 

Fuck musicals.